why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
