There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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