Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
