I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
