what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
