I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
