dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
