We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
