Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
