It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
