Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
