Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
did i just pee glitter
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
