Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
