Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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