we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
