i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
