goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
