We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just had sex on a roof
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
