the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
