I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize