for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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