At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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