I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
