i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
and she was petting her beer can
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
