Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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