Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
