Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
