THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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