Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
