She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
