I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
