I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
