He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
