I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
