I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
