kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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