i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
third nipple confirmed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
