whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
