do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
