I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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