and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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