Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
