Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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