that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
