if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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