Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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