i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
