going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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