i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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