Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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