I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Randomize
